new moon magic

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I’ve had a lot of anxiety going into this new moon, and knowing that my life is changing vastly every day as I lean into my art career more and more, it seems fitting that last weekend’s new moon was in Sagittarius - maybe a gentle reminder that taking a leap is the right thing to do right now.

Last week a friend asked me “what’s holding you back?” and it felt like a punch in the gut, because the answer came easily and it’s…me. It’s 100% me that is holding me back. My fear of rejection, my uncertainty, my worry that I am perceiving the art I put out into the world differently than everyone else who sees it. It’s a scary feeling, but it’s also extremely comforting. It’s me, so I know how to fix it. It’s me, so I have the power within myself to change things. It’s me, so I know exactly where to start.

I am planning, writing, expressing, moving forward. Slowly but surely, I am easing into this new way of existing as an artist, as my own boss, as someone who has to be creatively centered but also financially aware. As someone who needs to use the left and right sides of her brain equally. It all feels overwhelming, but it feels GOOD. You know when you write out a list of things to do and the process alone makes you feel excited to be productive? I’ve always been a planner, but now I need to be an executor as well. I proved to myself in 2018, with Hollow Valley, that I can take a project from idea to completion successfully. So now? I just take the next idea and do the same thing. Easy? Maybe not. Doable? Absolutely.

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Intentions for this moon cycle:

+ Treat my body so, so kindly. It’s what gets me through every day.

+ Go through as many skeins of yarn as humanly possible.

+ Kick some serious ass with my art career - plan, execute, dream, grow.

+ Push, push, push for what I want.

+ More tarot, more spellwork, more magic.

+ Read and write, make voice recordings. Sometimes ideas are fleeting - I gotta make sure they get documented so I can come back to them when I have time to expand them.

+ Lean into my support network - I am not alone, ever ever ever ever.

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New Moon Reading

Spread: The Little Red Tarot’s Dark Moon Spread

Deck: The Wild Unknown Tarot

Things to Let Go Of - Four of Pentacles - This goes right along with my New Year’s desire to invest in myself. The Four of Pentacles in this position suggests that I’ve been afraid to let go of the wealth that I’ve acquired and that I need to be aware of how stinginess can be holding me back. As hard as it is to spend money on things that don’t have an immediate payoff, there are plenty of material investments I can make in myself that will pay off in the long run. It’s time for me to start recognizing the difference between necessary and unnecessary spending.

Things to Keep - Justice (R) - In this position, I see this card more as a warning of things to keep watch for. What actions and intentions have I been turning a blind eye to? Reversed, Justice speaks to dishonesty and unaccountability. I need to keep watch for the dishonest things I tell myself - that I am unworthy and incapable. That I am blocked and unable to move forward. I need to hold myself accountable for the plans I make and the goals I set.

Things Yet to Come - Daughter/Page of Swords - She’s been showing up a lot in my daily pulls, and here she is again. She represents the restlessness inside of me, the mental energy and insatiable curiosity. Right now I feel like I am not channelling her enough - maybe that’s why I keep drawing this card over and over again. A push in the right direction - towards things yet to come. Soon I will find myself embarking on something great, but I need to be careful not to get stuck in the planning and dreaming phase and keep my feet moving forward.

How the World Affects You - The Tower (R) - The world is leaving me paralyzed - I can see all of the negatives that could happen, and I am avoiding them by being stagnant. My fear of rejection from the world at large is keeping me from acting on my plans. This card is reminding me that these external forces - these possible negatives - are there for a reason. They are there to teach me and help me grow, and if I don’t face them, if I don’t put myself out there and let myself be vulnerable, I am cheating myself out of the lessons I will learn when I fall.

What to Give - Temperance - Harmony, balance, wisdom. Giving myself and my space and the people around me some calm and healing. Cleansing. This is where I need to focus my energy right now, into breathing and finding the balance between pushing forward and taking time to step back and assess where I am. Taking time to be still so that I can foster the energy I need to keep creating.

What to Receive - Daughter/Page of Cups - My inner child and sense of delight is constantly feeding me inspiration and ideas, and on the bad days, I am bad at listening to her. She’s giving me material to work with, and I need to be open to receiving it. The world around me, too! Winter is such a beautiful time of year - nature sleeps so that it can begin again, refreshed, in the springtime. There’s so much magic in that. I need to let myself feel that magic and channel it into creative action.

What to Learn - Ace of Pentacles (R) - You know what they say - you miss 100% of the chances you don’t take. Reversed, the Ace of Pentacles suggests that I am letting opportunities pass me by out of fear or laziness or uncertainty. This is exactly where I am right now. There is so much fear built up inside of me, but all of the good things live inside of the fear. The things that frighten me are the things I need to be doing - putting myself out there, sharing MORE, being authentic and creating regularly enough that I allow myself to be bad at it sometimes. This is a punch in the gut, just like being asked “what’s holding you back?” It’s me, it’s me, it’s me. I am being blocked by myself. And I have the power to change that.

The Lovers jumped out as a lesson as well. It’s a crucial reminder of this passage of The Creative Tarot that informs all of my current goals and desires:

““Thematically, The Lovers is about connection. Connection that does not require alteration. It’s about passion, about allowing yourself to be overwhelmed, allowing a love to be feral without needing to domesticate it. Loving something or someone for what or who it is, not what you want it to be. That takes an enormous amount of strength and integrity. Which ties back in with the calling: allowing something to be scary, to be overwhelming; to devote yourself to it even if it requires great changes from you. It’s something we have to live up to; it does not arrive neatly wrapped up in an understandable package. That would be easy. And The Lovers is always hard.” ”

— Jessa Crispin, The Creative Tarot