hoping to reach something steady

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This week, I wanted to come back to myself through a process of ritual - to ground myself through repetition of tasks and self care.

I used to be good about this, keeping my routine steady everyday: writing my morning pages, sweeping my apartment, pulling a tarot card for guidance, drawing and working on my artwork, doing yoga regularly. But lately I’ve been falling behind, and my anxiety and internal critic tell me that this means I am failing - that without these habits, my life is untethered.

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There is a truth to that. Rituals keep us grounded, they keep us in tune with the everyday things that keep our bodies and minds running smoothly. They’re good for mental health and growth. But is beating myself up about not being able to stick to rituals this week, this month, this year, really doing me any good, either?

So my plan is to ease into it again. To start with small goals, and work my way up. This week I am going to focus on building myself up little by little, but letting myself breathe and take a moment. Let myself assess what matters, what my focus should be, and in what ways I can be better.

Erin Borzak